


Try to catch every minute

by Vlindervin



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, M/M, general happiness, it's not focused on spierfeld but bram and his mom do talk about it for a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 05:23:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18067385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vlindervin/pseuds/Vlindervin
Summary: The silence stretches and his fiddling fingers get louder. She gives him all the time he needs to find the words he’s looking for. He’s always been a careful kid, picking out the exact right words before releasing them into the world, since the moment he could talk.He takes a breath.‘I’m gay.’~Bram comes out to his mom





	Try to catch every minute

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't posted in. A while, but here I am! With my first simon vs fic! I missed my boy, Bram, so I wrote this. I always imagined Bram having a great relationship with his mom, because it's what he deserves and I hope I portayed that well. Disclaimer: I'm not a mom! So who knows if this is an accurate thought process, I tried. Bram's mom is named Naomi, because i read a fic once in which that was her name and I thought it was fitting. I don't remember which one it was, but lmk if you do!  
> Enjoy!

A soft knock on her door pulls Naomi Greenfeld out of her revery. Putting her book aside, she looks up to see her son in the doorway of her bedroom. He offers her a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes and when Naomi takes a closer look, she notices the lines around his eyes, the bitten lips and the hint of nervousness hiding behind the dark of his eyes. It’s a look she’s become quite familiar with over the past few months. Bram has always been able to suppress his emotions in a way that worried Naomi sometimes. She instinctively knows when her son is going through something, she’s his mother after all, but he’s never been particularly forthcoming with what it was that bothered him exactly. There have been multiple times over the last teenage years in Bram’s life, that she’s wanted to jump in and demand to know what is going through his head, a desperation borne out of the need to protect her son at all time, to make sure he’s healthy and safe both physically and mentally, to ensure his happiness, which she can only do if she knows what’s wrong. But. She lets him go through the process at his own pace. She worries, but at the same time it’s her view on parenting that it’s best she lets Bram come to her when he’s ready. In the meantime she chooses to show her quiet support from the sidelines. and apparently it’s paid off, if he’s ready to talk now. Which he is, by the look of things.

She’s noticed him disappearing in his own head even more than before these last few months, pouring all his energy into school work and soccer, and she’s catched him with a wistful, contemplating look on his face multiple times. He’s so much like his father in that aspect, quiet and reserved and fighting most of his battles internally. His father is a good man, she knows that, she married him after all. Just because they didn’t work, doesn’t mean she can’t see that, doesn’t mean she can’t recognize she loved him more than anything once and recognize he was a very good husband. And she knows Bram will make one too, one day, if that’s the path he chooses to go on. Not that there’s much doubt about that, he’s always been a bit of a romantic. 

‘Can I come in?’, Bram asks, a tremble in his voice, barely audible, but ringing loudly in the quiet of his voice.

‘Of course, baby, what’s up?’ She pats the space next to hers on the bed and after a second of hesitation, he heads over and climbs on the bed. 

Images of worst-case scenarios flash through her mind, but she reminds herself this is Bram and there’s a very, very small chance of him getting a girl pregnant, or getting hooked on drugs, or having done something absolutely illegal. She trusts him. 

He’s already put on sweatpants and brushed his teeth, ready for bed. Naomi is also in her nightgown, but not yet under the covers. She’d like a picture of the two of them like this, both in pyjamas, four identical eyes. It’s so mundane, yet incredibly special to her, to have her teenage son next to her like this.

‘So, uh’, Bram starts, fiddling with his fingers in his lap, ‘I wanted to talk to you about something.’

‘Yeah? I’m here to listen, go ahead.’

She turns around a bit so she’s facing him. In this position she can see his facial expressions, can see he’s still not looking at her, but that’s okay. As long as he’s comfortable.

The silence stretches and his fiddling fingers get louder. She gives him all the time he needs to find the words he’s looking for. He’s always been a careful kid, picking out the exact right words before releasing them into the world, since the moment he could talk. 

He takes a breath. 

‘I’m gay.’ His voice is barely more than a whisper, light enough to get lost in a breeze of wind, but luckily they’re safe inside. His eyes dart to hers, quick and back again, and she smiles. 

She reaches over and takes his hands in hers, then pulls him in around the shoulders, before dropping a kiss on his tight curls. ‘I love you so much, baby’, she tells him, her sound of voice matching his. ‘Thank you for telling me. I’m so proud of you.’

She lets him go just long enough to look him in the eye and make sure he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she’s behind him, loves him and that this doesn’t change anything. His eyes are a bit wet and she thinks of the months of quiet and worry he’s gone through, and her heart breaks just a bit when she thinks of how difficult it was for him to tell her this and how unfair the world can be. It almost makes her want to cry, but she keeps it together. She thinks that might not be the best response to her son coming out to her. But still she wishes they lived in a more accepting world, in which Bram could be who he is without having to worry about his _mother’s_ reaction for even a second. She hopes with all her heart she hasn’t made it harder for him than it already was. 

‘It’s okay, I love you so much’, she whispers again, pulling him closer a second time. Her son is so brave, so so brave, and her heart is overflowing with love for him. She doesn’t want to let him go, ever, especially knowing that being gay won’t make his life any easier. If she could, she’d keep him safe in her arms for the rest of their lives, but she knows she has to let go at some point. 

When she does, she brushes away a stray, single tear sliding down Bram’s cheek. She notices how the tension in his shoulders is gone, the worry in his eyes lifted. ‘Thanks, mom.’

‘Don’t thank me, baby. I’m really proud of you.’ Now that they’ve calmed down a bit and Bram doesn’t look like he’s going to burst from nerves, she settles back against her pillows and looks up at him. 

‘Is it okay if I ask some questions? Feel free to tell me if I’m being too nosy.’

Bram nods and mirrors her position, laying back on the cushions. 

‘When did you realize?’

‘Starting right with the clichés, then?’

‘I know, I know.’

‘I’m not sure. I think I must have been around twelve when I started questioning, but before I fully realized and accepted it, it took me at least two more years. Can I ask some questions, too?’

‘Of course.’

‘Are you surprised?’

‘I can’t say I was expecting it, but I’m not really surprised, either. You’ve never shown a real interest in girls, not that that necessarily means anything, but --’

Bram nods and she’s so happy to see the curious, joyful light back in his eyes. ‘Have you told anyone else?’

‘Just Garrett. Who was amazing about it and just -- Just _Garrett_ , you know him.’

She’s always liked Garrett. When he first became friends with Bram, she wasn’t sure what to make of the loud, exuberant, outgoing boy who seemed the exact opposite of Bram, but Bram’s always been an excellent judge of character so she wasn’t too worried. She was right not to be, because Garrett turned out to be one of the sweetest boys she’s ever met, blunt at times, but always with the right intentions. He brings Bram out of his shell, while Bram manages to calm some of that pouring energy. He also always insists on helping Naomi cook when he comes over for dinner and she has to say she quite enjoys his delightful energy and ridiculous dancing along to the radio in the kitchen. 

‘Of course he was. He’s a good friend.’

Bram nods, a soft smile on his face that mirrors the thoughts Naomi had a second before. ‘The best.’

They’re both quiet for a bit. Naomi is trying to figure out if she can ask about boys right now, when Bram beats her to it and breaks the silence. ‘Do you think Dad will mind?’

There’s a spark of worry that has seeped back into Bram’s brown eyes and he’s biting his lip like he’s afraid of the answer. The overwhelming urge to _protect_ surges up again. ‘Well, I can’t predict what his reaction is going to be, of course, but I know he loves you a lot. And he only ever wants the best for you, so I can’t imagine he won’t be okay with it, if you decide to tell him.’

It’s clearly not quite enough to quell the worry visible in his eyes -- no one but his dad will be able to make that disappear --, but he seems a bit relieved, at least. As a way to diffuse the tension, she decides to ask: ‘So, is there a boy?’  
As expected Bram’s cheek flush at the question and he averts his eyes just a little bit. It looks like he’s debating whether to answer the question truthfully, before he decides to go for it and shrugs a: ‘Kind of.’

Well, _that_ she was not exactly expecting, as Bram hasn’t mentioned anyone new to her in passing since he found the friends he has now. She can’t pass up this opportunity to tease him a bit. ‘Kind of? I don’t need to remind you protection is important during gay sex, too, do I?’

Bram’s eyes widen and he scrambles over her to pick up the book she put on her nightstand earlier. ‘ _The life before us_? Good book, mom? I’ve never heard of it.’

She laughs and plucks it out of his hand to put back on the stand. ‘Very. It’s French. But don’t you change the subject now, I’ll give it to you when I’m done. It’s very important to remember that just because neither of you can get pregnant -- ‘

‘Oh, my God, mom, please’, Bram groans, shielding his eyes with his hands. 

‘-- doesn’t mean protection isn’t very important. _Every time_ , including oral.’

Bram lets out another whine. ‘Please, Mom, do we have to do this now, this is so embarrassing, I’m not even having sex!’

‘As if you’d tell me if you were.’

‘Well, I was about to tell you about something else, but maybe I won’t now.’ 

‘Oh, come on, I’m not allowed to joke anymore now?’

Bram rolls his eyes, very reminiscent of her own habit of rolling her eyes when amused. ‘You’re embarrassing!’

She looks at him, a soft smile on her face, her love no doubt pouring out of her eyes because Bram gets a bit quiet and procures a smile of his own. ‘I love you so much, you know that?’

He nods. ‘I love you too, Mom.’

‘So. This boy?’

Bram laughs and starts talking. She hears about the post on that school site, she hears about this Jacques person who messaged him, he tells her about the way they’ve been growing closer and how Jacques always understands exactly what he’s saying. He talks about a boy called Simon -- and at this point, he blushes a bit and he gets a tiny, soft smile on his face -- that he’s almost sure is Jacques and how he’s so happy about that. She can clearly see the fondness Bram has for him in everything he does while he talks about him, his hand gestures, his eyes, his smile, and it’s unsettling seeing her son like this because it’s a part of Bram she’s not yet familiar with, but she also delights in it, because it’s an exciting thing to be able to see the changes in your child’s life and being able to live through those chances with them. 

She stays mostly quiet through the whole story and lets Bram talk. As happy as she is that he’s sharing with her, she’s also very surprised as she never imagined she’d have a conversation like this with him, never ever thought he’d be this free with his feelings and thoughts and experiences. She knows she’s incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful son as Bram and that their relationship is as strong as it is. God knows she never in a million years would have had a conversation this open with her own parents. But it’s been just Bram and her for years and she guesses that must have something to do with it. 

By the end of his story, he’s yawning and blinking slowly. She looks at the clock and with a start realizes it past midnight on a wednesday. They both need to be up early tomorrow. ‘I’m… impressed. I’m happy for you and both Jacques and Simon sound like absolutely wonderful people. You’ll let your old mother know how this tale ends, won’t you?’

‘Old? You’re barely 40, you’re not old. But yeah, sure, I’ll try to keep you updated. As long as you promise not to spring unexpected sex talks on me? I’m good on that front’, his voice is croaky with fatigue and his eyes are drooping, almost sliding shut. 

‘Well, I can’t promise that. But I can promise to try, is that good enough?’

Bram manages one last nod, before he succumbs to sleep, on his mom’s bed like he used to do when he was little and didn’t want to be alone in his dark room. Naomi wonders if this is a normal thing for a teenage boy to do, but she decides she doesn’t much care. If her son wants to fall asleep next to his mother after coming out to her and telling her what’s been bothering him these last few months, then she’s certainly not stopping him. 

She looks at his sleeping form for a few minutes, trying to imagine what he must have been feeling hiding this big part of him for so long, how he must be feeling now that it’s out here, hoping she’s done enough for him, enough to make him feel safe and happy, but she doesn’t have an answer to any of these questions. In the end she decides the best she can do is give him all her love and show him how important he is. That’s really all there is for a parent to do, the most important task of all. Making your child feel loved for who they are, completely and unconditionally.

She presses a kiss to his forehead, wriggles the blanket over him, knowing he gets chilly fast at night and dims the light, before sliding into bed beside him.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Slipping through my fingers', by ABBA, for obvious reasons. 'The life before us' is a real book. It's a translation from the French 'La vie devant soi', by Emile Ajar. I asked myself what kind of books Mrs. Greenfeld would read and as I had no idea, I decided to pick my mom's favorite book. It's beautiful, highly recommend. I also wholeheartedly believe Bram and his mom exchange books sometimes.  
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, leave some kudos or comments, they make me incredibly happy. Or find me on tubmlr @vlindervin7 if you prefer
> 
> Love,  
> Jasmine


End file.
